Fun with Joe

I was sitting on the couch trying to wake up after getting out of bed and coming downstairs. I had a nice cup of coffee and the world was just coming into focus.


Joe decided to hop up beside me and play his very favorite game. I don’t indulge him too often because his favorite game usually ends with me bleeding in many places. He loves to be roughed up.

The game starts with him lying on his back beside me, stretching a paw out and extending his claws to touch my body. The claw does no real damage and is simply a challenge. It is an invitation to touch his stomach. If you dare the game is on. I will put my hand on his tummy and pull it away fast. When he guards his stomach too closely I grab his face and spin him around. Eventually I am not quick enough and he wraps my hand and arm up with all five pointy ends latched on. The next five minutes are spent trying to minimize the damage he is about to inflict. It is a lot like trying to pull burdocks off of a cotton gloves without removing the gloves from your hands. He doesn’t bite hard enough to break skin and the claws only grab hold (they do pierce though). As long as you don’t jerk back you will not get any serious injuries. With me he is a little rougher than anyone else and the game is pretty spirited. It ends when I am forced to grab his back legs and lift him until he lets go with the other claws and his teeth. I sounds much worse than it is. I was definitely the loser. Both hands and forearms have multiple new scratches and marks from his teeth.

I finish my coffee and go upstairs to take a shower. I had to go to work.

I step into the nice hot water hoping that it will finish waking me up. I’m still a little out of it. I grab my son’s shower gel, (one of the Axe variants) lather up and my arms start burn. I look down and my arms are covered in the red shower gel. It has the same color as blood and (under the shower) about the same look. Holy crap! Joe hit an artery. This all goes through my mind in a flash. The adrenaline jump starts me into full consciousness and I have a good laugh.

I really have got to stop letting Joe sucker me into that game when I’m still waking up. It is not good for my heart.